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Top Ten Jokes - Edinburgh Fringe 2009 (PG)

As judged by digital TV channel Dave.

 

1 Dan Antolpolski – "Hedgehogs - why can't they just share the hedge?"

2 Paddy Lennox – "I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting.'

3 Sarah Millican – "I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they're up where they belong."

4 Zoe Lyons – "I went on a girl's night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill.' I went as Rose West."

5 Jack Whitehall - "I'm sure wherever my dad is he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending."

6 Adam Hills – "Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you're going to get it, but it's going to be rough."

7 Marcus Brigstocke – "To the people who've got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn't invent it!"

8 Rhod Gilbert – "A spa hotel? It's like a normal hotel, only in reception there's a picture of a pebble".

9 Dan Antopolski – "I've been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I've seen it six times and there isn't."

10 Simon Brodkin (as Lee Nelson) – "I started so many fights at my school - I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn't finish a lot of them."

 

These jokes were found on telegraph

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