Please send us your jokes to: editor@thevoiceofreason.co.uk

The Jar In The Bar... (PG)

A guy walks into a bar and notices a very large jar on the counter and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. The man guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"

"Well, here's the deal. You pay 10 dollars, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money."

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"

"Pay first," says the bartender. "Those are the rules."

So, the customer puts $10 into the jar. "OK," the bartender says, "Here's what you need to do. First, you have to drink an entire gallon of pepper tequila. The whole thing, all at once, and you can't make a face. Second, there's a pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third, there's a 90-year-old woman upstairs who has never reached orgasm during intercourse. You've got to make things right for her."

The man is stunned. "I know I paid my 10 bucks, but I'm not an idiot. I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those other things!"

"Your call," says the bartender, "but your money stays where it is."

The man has a few drinks, then a few more, then finally asks, "Wherrre's zaat tequil-l-la?" He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp. Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face. Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained up. The people inside the bar hear a commotion, then they hear the pit bull barking, and the guy screaming, then the pit bull yelping, and then silence. Just when they think the man must be dead, he staggers back into the bar. His shirt is ripped, and he has large, bloody scratches from head to toe. "Now," he says, "where's the old woman with the sore tooth?"

<-- Back to jokes home page