Maxims for life (13)

Half the people you know are below average.

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

Star rule: When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

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