New
Workplace Vocabulary… (PG)
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group,
discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was
responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in,
makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people
seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather
than working hard.
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending
an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or
drops something loudly in a Cube farm, and people's heads pop up over
the walls to see what's going on.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's
answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive
Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of
them stops working to stay home with the kids.
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive
on being stressed out and whiney.
SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has
been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive
use.
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles
that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of
whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organisational
layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from
the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to
the problems they were designed to solve.
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World
Wide Web error message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested
document could not be located.
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of
time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake.
WOOF'S: Well-off Older Folks.
CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while
passing through a Cube Farm.
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