The Panda (PG)
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich.
He eats the sandwich, then pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to leave, the manager shouts: "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the manager: "Hey, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" So the manager opens his dictionary and looks up the word 'panda'.
It reads "Panda: A tree dwelling mammal of Asian origin, characterised by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves."