Virus
Alerts... (Circa 2001 ish) (PG)
Watch out for these new viruses - Neither Symantec or McAfee have solutions
as yet!
The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer
to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data,
but forgets where it is stored.
The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent
Hard Drive with NO memory.
The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer
to just keep counting and re-counting.
The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory
out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates
some files, leaves, but will be back.
The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two
bytes.
The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard
drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around
150 GB.
The Jack Kevorkian Virus - Deletes all
old files.
The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no
longer be inserted.
The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your
RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your
hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy then discards it through Windows.
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