Some Of The Best Frank Carson Jokes (PG)

A fella walks into a pet shop and says 'Give me a wasp.' The shopkeeper replies 'We don't sell wasps.' He says 'There's one in the window.'


A man goes into Boots and says: 'Have you got Viagra?' 'Do you have a prescription?' asks the chemist. 'No,' he replies, 'But I’ve got a photograph of the wife...'


Maggie Murphy goes to the doctor’s. She says, “Doctor, I’ve forgotten to take my contradictive pill.” He says, “You’re ignorant.” She says, "Yes, three months.”


A guy goes into B&Q and says 'I'd like some nails please.' 'How long would you like them?' 'I want to keep them.'


"Private Carson I didn't see you in camouflage class today!" "Thank you very much sir."


An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband demanded to know who the other man was.


I rang British Telecom. I said, “I want to report a nuisance caller.” He said: "Not you again.”


Paddy is woken in the middle of the night by a phone call. The caller says "Is that Dublin 22 33 22?" Paddy says "No it's Dublin 223 322!" the caller apologises for waking him in the middle of the night, Paddy says "Oh it's all right I had to get up to answer the phone anyhow!"