Funny SMS text messages

(_!_)An arse

(__!__)Fat arse

(!)Tight arse

(_?_)Dumb arse

(_*_)Sore arse

(_zzz_)Tired arse

(_E=mc2_)Smart arse

(_x_) Kiss my arse!!

friendship is like peeing in your pants. every1 can c it but only u can feel its true warmth.thank u 4 being the pee in my pants xxxx

A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get

MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??

Hello!Im a little alien called Ted.I have taken the form of a mobile phone- your phone.And during this message I have been having sex with your thumb!

Ure so sexy u drive me insane.i luv u so much dat my heart is in pain.ur sexy voice puts me in a slumber.oh damn im sorry i have the wrong number

NEWSFLASH... Police arrested 2 kids yesterday: 1 was drinking battery acid the other was eating fireworks.They charged one and let one off.

I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss

Dear friend! Do you take me 2 b your lawful text mate.2 have & 2 hold.4 dirty quotes or saucy text messaging & in poor signal.til low battery do us part?