Funny Signs (California) (U)

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot

Give me ambiguity or give me something else

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs

Out of my mind... back in five minutes

Look busy - God's coming

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better

Eschew obfuscation

Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular

Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after

I started out with nothing and still have most of it left

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me

It's not hard to meet expenses; they're everywhere

Jury: 12 people who determine which client has the better lawyer

She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool

On the other hand, you have different fingers

Laugh alone and people cross the street to avoid you

Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself

Why be difficult when, with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?

All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done

My karma ran over your dogma

Adults are just kids who owe money

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night

I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?