Naughty Nursery Rhymes (18)

Part Two is here

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and everywhere that Mary went
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front...
But she didn't wear that one often

Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept up beside her
'twas Little Boy Blue with a horn.

Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pieman
"What have u got there?"
Said the pieman unto Simon
Pies you dickhead.

Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cos he was gay.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have a little fun.
Jill, the dill,
forgot her pill,
and now they have a son.

For an X rated Humpty Dumpty go here.